he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
