Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize