lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
