i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
