That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
