Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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