how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
