would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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