You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
