Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
