Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
