They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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