I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
