I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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