The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
