I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
