4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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