Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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