forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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