Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
