Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize