Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
