we're blogging at a bar
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Sorry about my life...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
