I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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