Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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