thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
