Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Your dad touched me again.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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