oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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