hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
