btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize