I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
