Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
