i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
