My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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