dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
