hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Randomize
