12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize