dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
