dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
