Got a toothbrush?
Your face is a jimmy john
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
