Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
