If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
