Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
