would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Someone came in the potted fern
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
