Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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