i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
