So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i came on her dog
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
