my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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