and you said cock pushups were impossible
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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