the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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