and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
