I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
