If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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