just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
