I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
