So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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