im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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