They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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