Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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