no, he came in my armpit
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
