the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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