Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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