never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
