living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
