it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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