he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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