how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
