She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
