Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I need help removing her.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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